Sally

'Nice knockers, girl!'Sally shouted at Kelly, who was just emerging from the pool.
Gary, all muscles and shaved head, was the next to emerge from the house. On seeing Kelly, soaking wet with her skimpy singlet clinging to her fit young body, he dropped to his knees in mock worship.?Thank you, God' he shouted to the skies. 'Something for the lads! We like that!'
Garry.Real job: van driver. Star sign: Cancer.
'Oh the girls!' Sally shouted back.'You never know, she might play for my team.'
'You a dyke, then?'Garry enquired, turning to her with interest.
'Derr! said Sally, pointing to the front of her vest on which were written the words 'I eat pussy.'
'Oh, is that what it means? I thought it meant you'd just been to a Chinese restaurant!' Garry laughed hugely at his joke, which was to provoke a minor scandal when it was broadcast later that evening, being considered highly bold, provocative and controversial.
Inside the house a bald woman in a leopardskinprint mini-skirt was exploring the living area. 'Check out, guys! There's a welcome basket! Wicked!
Moon. Real job: circus trapeze artiste and occasional lap-dancer. Star sign: Capricorn.
'Fags, chocolate, champagne! Wicked!
'Get stuck in! shouted Garry from the patio doors.
The others quickly assembled around the basket and the four bottles of Sainsbury's own-brand champagne were immediately opened. They all collapsed onto the orange, green and purple couches on which they would lounge for so much of the long days to come.
'Right, since we're chilling out and kicking back, I might as well tell you know,' Moon shouted in her exaggerated Mancunian accent, 'because at the end of the day you're all going to find out anyway. First of all I'm going to win this fookin' game, all fookin' right? So the rest of you bastards can just forget it! All right?' This exhibition of bravado was received with friendly cheers.
'Second, I've done lap-dancing, right? I took money off sad blokes for letting them see me bits. I'm not proud of it, but at the end of the day I was fookin' good at it right?'
This provoked more cheers and shouts of 'Good on you'
'And third. I've had a boob job right? I was right? I was dead unhappy with my self-image before, and my new tits have really empowered me as a person in my own right, right? Which at the end of the day is what it's all about,ain't it? Quite frankly, at the end of the day, I feel that these are the boobs I was supposed to have.'
'Gi's a look, then darling, and I'll tell you if you're right! Gazzer shouted.
'Easy tiger!' Moon Shrieked, revelling in the attention 'Take it easy. we've got nine fookin´weeks in here, don't want to peak too soon. Oh God, though, what have I said? I feel terrible. me mum never knew about me being a stripper, she thinks I'm dead proper, me. Sorry, Mum!
'I've nothing against a bit of cosmetic surgery,' Jazz reflected. I've never regretted my knob reduction, at least now it don't poke out the bottom of me trousers!
The housemates laughed and shrieked and said 'Wicked!' but there were some who laughed more than others. A quiet looking girl with raven-dark hair and green eyes only smiled. Sitting beside her was a rather straight-looking young man dressed in smart but casual Timberland.
Hamish. real job: junior doctor. Star sign : leo
From the book ?Dead Famous' by Ben Elton