Day four

'I want to have a house meeting,' said Layla. 'So would it be cool if everybody just chilled? So we can all just have a natter maybe?'
Across the room Moon's bald head poked out from the book she was reading, a book entitled You are Gaia: Fourteen Steps to Becoming the Centre of Your Own Universe.
'It's dead spiritual, this book,'Moon said. 'It's about self- growth and development and personal empowerment, which at the end of the day I'm really into, if you know what I mean, right?'
'Yeah, Moon, wicked. Look, um, have you seen the state of the toilet?'
'What about it?'
'Well, it's not very cool, right? And Dervla and I...'
'I'm not fookin' cleaning it' said Moon. I've been here for four days and ain't even done a poo yet. I'm totally fookin bunged up, me, because I'm not getting my colonic irrigation, and also I reckon the electrical fields from all the cameras are fookin' about with me yin and the yang.'
'Layla's not asking you to clean the toilet, Moon,' said Dervla gently. 'We just think it would be good to organize some of the jobs that have to be done around the house, that's all.'
'Oh. Right. Whatever. I'm chilled either way. But at the end of the day I'm just not scrubbing out other people's shite when I haven't even done . I mean, that would be too fookin' ironic, that would.'
'Well, I don't mind doing heavy work, like lifting and shifting,' said Gazzer the Geezer, pausing in the push-ups that he had been doing pretty continuously since arriving in the house, 'but I ain't cleaning the bog, on account of the fact that I don't mind a dirty bog anyway. Gives you something to aim at when you're having a slash, don't it?
From the book "Dead Famous" by Ben Elton.